Popping the Bubble Wrap
Popping the Bubble Wrap

Episode 2 · 2 months ago

S1E2 - The Worst Advice Your Parents Gave You

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Well, in my day … Ever get a piece of advice that starts out like that? Feel pressured to follow what your mom tells you, even if you’ve read or heard new information?

As we learn more about how injuries happen, we apply that learning and make changes to the best practices we recommend. We can pinpoint what’s effective to prevent injuries at home, at play and on the move. Times have changed from ‘old wives’ tales’ on safety and risk. Which are true? Which are terrible? Let’s find out…

Joining Pam today are Wyatt, Ashley, and Heather as well as our expert Sandra Newton from Child Safety Link.

  • Some advice from the past is still appropriate but not everything.
  • There is some bad advice out there, but there are places of trusted information too.
  • See the world from your child’s perspective to understand what attracts them and might cause harm. 

Listen and subscribe to Popping the Bubble Wrap on Apple, Spotify or wherever you catch your favorite podcasts!

For more please visit www.parachute.ca Popping the Bubble Wrap is produced by Story Studio Network. www.storystudionetwork.com/ 

This is SSN story studio network. Hi, my name is Pamela. If you're selling and I'm the host of popping the bubble rap, are you the person in your family who worries about the safety of others, about buying safety products and using them? Are you yelling? Yes, that's me. This is the podcast for you. Raising a child or children can be a hair raising undertaking, and keeping them safe as a priority parachutes. Popping the bubble wrap podcast explores what you really need to think about as a parent or caregiver and provides easy tips on prevention strategies. No bubble wrap here, though. Well, in my day, a ever get a piece of advice that starts out like that, feel pressured to follow what your mom tells you, even if you've read or heard new information. As we learn more about how injuries happen, we apply that learning and make changes to the best practices we recommend. We can pinpoint what's effective to prevent injuries at home, at play and on the move. Times have changed from old wives tales on safety and risk, which are true, which are terrible? Let's find out. Welcome Wyatt, Ashley and Heather. Thanks so much for being part of parachutes popping the bubble wrap. PODCAST. Thanks for having US excited to be here. Great. So, to start out, tell me a bit about who you listen to for advice. Who Do you go to? How there? Maybe we'll start with you, Um, I know that mommy groups get a bad rap on facebook, parenting groups get a bad rap on facebook, but I have found that, particularly if you're looking for a niche subset, that you can find and connect with some really amazing people that are experiencing really particular situations that you're experiencing as well with your kids that maybe aren't as applicable to the whole parenting population. So I really do love online communities for that right. And you, you have you have two girls right thirteen and nine. It's interesting to to see my needs as a parent change with every stage of their development, particularly around safety. It's it's really wild all of the different stages that we go through, M H, and that's absolutely true, especially and you seem any of them, and we still have a few to go. Why? Maybe you can tell us a little bit about who do you go to advice? Do you and your and your friends talk about, you know, injury prevention or safety of your of your kids. I know you have a young, a young little one, two year old. Right. Yes, I I have a young two year old son of my march baby. So that was fun. Um. We tend to go to my wife and our big readers. So I would actually say we went to a lot of books. Um. Our parents provide a lot of support, but they actually haven't been ones to give to overstep in terms of the advice. They've been very much approachable when we've wanted it and they back off when we don't Um friends at work. Definitely, safety aspects have come up in terms of that. Other other DADS Um. So that's yeah, there's not I'd say our big our big role is definitely books. Tend to be our our tend to tend to be here go to that's yeah, that's interesting that that you've gone to two books and and and Nice to hear that your parents have kind of stepped...

...in when you've invited them to Um but not been Um, you know, putting there there much of their experiences maybe on on today's situations. Ashley, can you, can you talk to us a little bit about who? Where do you go do advice? Do you go to mommy groups and books and friends. I go everywhere and honestly, it depends on what the advice is for. But I'll I want to pull everybody and then figure out what will work best for me within that Um and with that. Well, really I go to friends first, Um, my siblings. I'll ask my parents too, but again it depends what it is, because there might be some out of touchness, they're just not quite getting what I'm talking about. Um. But I also I have work as a birth, baby and sleep specialist. So in some ways I have to do that research myself to make sure that, because people are coming to me sometimes for that safety advice. So, uh, that's why I say I like I go everywhere for it, wherever I can find. Yeah, when you're when you're looking for that kind of advice, I mean, is it a is it a Google search? Like, how do you decide? Where is where? What are sources of of credible information? Yeah, well, that's where I say I kind of will look everywhere and decide for myself if I think is incredible or not. Luckily I do have a strong enough background in research that I could pick out some things. Um, but I would say again, depending what it is, I will I will google for sure, just a straight up google. I'll go to Health Canada. Um, a lot of times. I'll go uh, probably, like heather, some momb groups, because even if they don't necessarily know, somebody knows somebody or a link or something. So it's just kind of casting a wide net. So definitely Google is part of that. Yeah, that's it. What did we do before Google? Right, the like injuries, as I said, you know, can have and you've sort of done, you know, given some examples, but you know they can happen in and around your home, especially for younger kids, because this is where they spend most of their time and it's in an environment that's built for adults. You know, when you get down on the floor and you look around your house, you know, and see how how your young child would look, uh, you know, look at the world. Is there a particular injury you're most worried about, UM, and why? You have? You have a quite a young son, so maybe I'll start. I'll start with you. You know, what do you what do you worry about as he's as he's growing and developing? Um, we have honestly, I can't say that I've been concerned about a particular injury. Um, car see if he was a big one for me being outside helmets and stuff like that. As he's gotten older and turned in quite the daredevil on his on his balance like and scooter, but it turns around house. It might sound a little crazy, but actually when he started walking, which he started doing it nine months I actually sat down on the floor and did just that and saw what his world looked like, Um, and we tried to actually make it a little interesting as well as well as safe, focused on what was around it and we actually put up some pictures that he could look at at that level and to distract him from the unsafe things as well. It's a really different perspective, isn't it, when you when you get down to that level and you take a look at the at the environment, you know that pot hand handle that's sticking out over the stove or a cord or something like that, and you know, you know that they explore their environment by, you know, grabbing those things, touching, tasting, all those all those good sensory Um sensory modes that they explore their environment. So that that's great and I love the idea that you know you made. You're not just looking for risks that you know or hazards that in the environment, but you're actually looking to...

...make it more interesting for for him. That's great, Heather. That's it's you know, you've got some older kids. Um, you know, what are you what are you worried about in terms of injuries? Um, for for your kids? Well, like Wyatt, when my kids were really young, I had precocious climbers too. They were walking and climbing when they were, you know, nine months old, and so are. Our big thing was trying to give them safe outlets for do it, exploring that kind of climbing, you know, and putting a mountain of cushions on the ground and, you know, letting them go all over it. But now it's funny because when your kids are little, you can look at at you can get down on their eye level and think, okay, what are they going to get into, but when they're older you can't get into their mind quite as easily because it's not just what do I see? Um. Just the other day, for for example, my nine year old was feeling chilly and so her brilliant idea was to um put her t shirt that she was wearing into the microwave to warm it up so that she would be warmer. Um, and that didn't go very well. Luckily, we know our smoke alarms are working and that they're well. But you know, she sees me put, you know, a heat pack in the microwave, for example, so why wouldn't I put my shirt in the microwave? Um. So, yeah, it's it's at this age it's a lot about helping them to be safe on their own, helping them to have critical thinking and reasoning skills and for them to know. At this age you're pointing out the dangers. You know, when they're young you're trying to steer them away from them, but this is like no, be aware of that danger and be aware of that danger and don't do this and, you know, really getting them prepared to be able to help themselves. That's that's really challenging, not not even knowing what how they might think. That's a quite creative way to uh, to get warm, but you're putting your t shirt in the microwave, but not something I would ever have initially thought about. So yeah, like, you know, having to anticipate things that you don't even know what you need to know when they get I think in thirteen years you've seen a lot of what you need to see when it comes to parenting and I am always surprised every single day. I am still surprised. They keep you on your toes. Mm Hmmm, I'm curious. I mean, I know why you said that to your you know your family was, you know, only invited. Would they give you advice? But do you have any any memories of, you know, what was the best or worst advice? You think that they may be passed down and maybe maybe it was one of maybe it was a friend or something you read in a book, but do you have a nugget that you can share with with us about, you know, some of the best or worst advice you've ever received? Uh, the worst advice? I really honestly, I can't come up with with a whole lot. I don't know. My wife and I were just really good at tuning it out or and I just I just can't come up with it. Um Really, I think what we came up with was just our parents didn't impart anything that they but they would ask us curiously about what the new stuff was like. It's been over thirty years now since they had children are son's age. So they might make comments like Oh, like you're going to turn him around forward facing soon. When he was a year it was like no, we're going to Max out the seats. So we're hoping for a three and a half four and they're like Oh, well, why would you do that? It's like well, it's safer for them to do that and they're like, oh, that makes a lot of sense. Seats didn't have that ability back when you guys were young. So like they were very receptive to stuff like that. Even if they didn't understand, they wanted to know why. So we were pretty fortunate that way. Very yeah, that's that's really interesting. So the CARCI would be...

...one. was was safe sleep one of the other ones. You know, how you the the advice previously was in in previous decades was, you know, put them on their on their tummy, and now it's back to sleep. was that one of the the issues that you talked about as well? It was. It was a question again because my mother in law commented that my wife would only sleep on her front Um. So she's like, oh well, what's that? And they're like, oh, like this is, this is the recommended, it's safe, safe way now to to have them sleep. So it was. It's never been like, oh well, our way, you know, made sense and your way doesn't. It's always been very well received. We've been lucky. I know our friends haven't been slucky. Ah, so you've had friends that have shared Um, different kinds of interactions. Well, yeah, with their parents. They've gotten the like. Well, you know, back in our day, like how did how did any of you survive? They get defensive as opposed to curious. I think is what ends up happening there a lot of the time. Yeah, we often hear well, it was good enough for you, why isn't it good enough for you? You know, your kids, that kind of thing. How the have you have? What kind of the best or worst advice you've you've received over the years? It's funny. I think that, Um, my husband and I are a little bit actually more relaxed as parents than our parents. Either of our parents were. So Um, they're they're likely to be more concerned about things, and we're like, I'm like, no, you know, it's okay. I think I think that we can let them do x y said, and, you know, support them in this, you know, more laid back way that you know, we're observing. We're ready to help, but we don't feel the need to jump in just yet. So we are, Um, a bit less helicopter parenting style than a lot lot of people around us. Actually, I wonder that's assigned me. But yeah, so we were actually like no, our parents are more worried about our our kids, and we're like, I think they're good. You know, we've they've done this before, they've got it. And what's been their reaction? Have they been like, Oh, okay, I can see where you're coming from, or are they still still concerned? Um, lovingly concerned, you know that kind of just like I'm really nervous that something's going to happen, but but not in a, you know, shaming kind of way. Thankfully, we get we get great support to oh that's good, Ashley. What what's been your experience about good advice bad advice that you've gotten? M Hm Um, you know, I have to say I'm probably pretty similar to heather and whyat where my parents don't really offer so much for advice, unless unless we're asking for it in this regard. And Uh, they certainly know that things like why it was saying thing have changed and things are different now. So they were kind of more in learning mode than, Um, telling us what to do or trying to give us that advice. So very thankful for that. Um. I've also, like, since starting having children, started learning myself and became a birth baby and sleep specialists, though they know that I know what I'm doing, Um, but in in the work that I do, I do here almost on a daily basis, the bad advice. There's great advice out there too, and that gets shared and that's lovely, but the bad advice that I still can't believe, around safe sleep, around car seats, that are still going around, that are still incredibly false, Um, and so I'm always trying to make it my mission to get those, those messages out there, because I think there is still a lot of bad advice. And and the families that I work with they'll sometimes share with me that. You know, how do I everything that you're telling me, and I feel is right as well, when it comes to...

...say, safe sleep, for instance. Then, but what do I do when my parents are over, when I need them to Babysit, and they don't do what I say? They should do and that causes them some anxiety and not wanting to leave the baby with that. So that's where I think you can get pretty detrimental to the relationship and just to a parent, especially a new parent, just trying to figure things out. Um. Is when there is that that shaming or like oh well, you're just not doing it right, that's why they're not sleeping or that's why they're what have you. Yeah, and so it sounds like there's there's lots of experiences that aren't as positive as as the three of you have had with your your family and friends. So it's it's really important that we get this kind of information out that there is. You know, when we know better, we can do better Um and things change over time and as they change we need to make those those updates to the things that we do um for our kids. So thank you so much, all three of you for joining joining me today. Has Been really interesting learning about your experiences in advice and child child development and your experience with your your families, and I think that all the listeners will will learn a lot from the positive experiences you have had. So thanks so much for joining us today. Thanks it's great. Thanks for having me. Thank you. I want to learn more about safe sleep practices. Check out parachute dot c a slash safe sleep. That's parachute dot c a slash safe sleep. It's time to open your parachute. Sandra Newton is manager of child safety link in Halifax that is committed to reducing the rate and severity of unintentional injuries to children and youth in the maritimes and in the Atlantic. We're appropriate. Welcome, Sandra, and thanks for joining me on popping the bubble rap podcast. Oh thanks, Pam, for having me. You've worked in the area of children's injury prevention for many years. What did you hear during our parent discussion that that grabbed your attention? You know, I wasn't really surprised by what I heard or surprised by the discussion, and I was really happy to hear some comments. I think it might have been Wyatt who mentioned that they would get down on the floor and see the environment from their child's perspective, and I was it's really amazing how this different point of view can help you as a caregiver, so you can make changes to your environment to make it safer, and this is such a great tip. So I was just there wasn't anything surprising, but I was really happy to hear that tip. Yeah, I was. I was interested to hear that that he did that as well, because that's a that's a tip we often give to parents is get down on the floor, take a look at the environment and see what your kids see and what they might be interested in, what might attract their attention, you know, like that pot handle that's hanging off over the of a stover or things like that. You just get so excited to see all these things you want to grab and you don't really realize until you're down on the floor that it's so enticing to a child. So I was really, really happy to see that too. Yeah, and when you think about how the environment is really built for adults, it's not necessarily unless you're in a space that's built specifically for kids. You know, the kids are are living and and playing in these environments that have all kinds of things that could injure them but don't necessarily have to. What are some of the the tips that you share with parents about how and where to find credible information that they might need to keep their kids safe? Yeah, I mean I'd like to comment on Heather's comment. I think it was heather who talked about her her child putting the shirt in the microwave and it actually really sort of reminded me of a...

...few things, including, you know, the tips that we often give parents and caregivers around keeping their kids safe. So I think it's really important to recognize that. You know, kids are really smart Um, but they may not understand sort of the implications of some of their actions, and I thought that microwave example was a really good one. So you know, and as you know, as they get older they want to be independent, so you want to give them tasks to do and have that independence. But as caregivers, I think that the big tips, I guess, for us, is that we want to try our best to minimize those dangers that may cause those significant injuries and also model positive behaviors to let our children grow and learn from their environment and to learn from us. So I think that is one of those big things that we often tell, often discussed with parents, is about, you know, modeling good behavior as as the child gets older. So that that's one example. I think parents may not realize how how much their children do watch what they do and try to, you know, be a grown up, if you will, and that parents really need to kind of do as they say as well as do as they do. You know, uh, that this is the this is the the way that kids develop is by watching what even their older siblings might be doing. Uh, and and that can get young kids into trouble with some products and things like small pieces and well, you mentioned earlier the pot handles. It's actually really good example because my mother always put the pot handles in the back and I never understood why. But then when I was cooking more, I always did it. I always just did it automatically, and then I realized one day. I asked her, well, why? Why? Why do we do that? And she explained and then I was like, oh, of course, I just hadn't thought of it, but I was modeling her behavior because that's film mom did it, you know, that's how my my parents did it. So, yeah, and you talk a lot to to parents. What are do you find that they are, you know, getting good advice or, you know, or bad advice from their parents or their older relatives. Um, that you know, have some good information to share, but also maybe sharing some information that's out of date. Yeah, I mean we have heard definitely over the years that some families have a lot of stress because, Um, if they live in a larger family or family with maybe extended family living in the household, that there's a lot of different beliefs and approaches to safety, and so that does cause stress. Um, and as you know, obviously we've learned a lot over the years and advice changes and and what could have been, uh, you know, very reasonable a couple of years ago is is not anymore. And so, you know, I can't think of any specific examples per se, but one that comes to mind is about, you know, in the past, the old the old way of doing things was if your child swallowed a poison that you would make them throw up and that was just what you did. That's automatic, and I still do here that it's like, oh, we'll just make them throw up and they'll be fine. And we know that's actually not the case anymore. And I actually have a funny story, if I can share that. Years and obviously, when my my husband was a child, he actually swallowed something that was poisonous and his mother quickly thought, well, I better make him throw up, so she made him a mixture of mustard and orange juice, which he drank down and he loved it and he wanted more to drink. And so obviously he's okay and it all turned out fine in the end, but clearly that was not going to work. If that herb P happened today, obviously she we'd want have strong advice to call the poison center because making him throw up...

...could have caused very, you know, more significant injuries as well. So I think that is an old wives tale that you that a child safe link. Does hear about, mm HMM, mustard and orange juice? Yeah, that that is an acidic concoction that I would not have thought to put together, but I guess, you know, it must have done that. It must have done the trick. Well, he liked it and he wanted more like at that backfired a little bit, didn't it? And did backfire. And I think you know, you hear about people, Um, you know, not wanting to maybe put baby gates up because they think, oh, they'll be fine. But you know, we do stress the importance of using baby gates, obviously at the top and the bottom of the stairs, and so we do a lot of discussion around those falls, fall prevention and as you know, fall prevention is such a it's the number one reason kids are hospitalized because of an injury. And yet when we talk about fall prevention, sometimes parents sort of I think, well, children fall. We can't prevent all falls. But you know, in our in our world, we want to make sure we're stopping those serious falls, obviously the falls down the stairs, the fall from really significant heights. So we do talk a bit about fall prevention, but sometimes that's a hard one, Um for some characters to sort of get their heads wrapped around. And what about the concept of bubble wrapping? You know, parenting has changed over the years as well as the advice that that parents are being given. The URGE TO BUBBLE WRAP here child to keep them from all injuries is probably very strong, especially with your first child, uh, and you know not having the experience of, you know, a child growing up and being able to survive those bumps and bruises of normal child development. Um that you know, they we often get um called bubble rappers as injury prevention specialists. What has been your your conversation or your experience with parents about that concept? Are they just really focused on preventing injuries, or are they taking this are they trying to take a bit of a balanced approach? Yeah, I think we hear a bit of both. We heard some parents who definitely want to know all the rules so they can you know, what is the exact age for something for a child to do. And, as you know, all children are different, all different stages, different ages, and so there's no rulebook for exactly an age this. You can do that, you know you can do x, and so we do have some caregivers that really just want to know what the rules are and then we have others that are like well, in my day I didn't do that and I was fine, I turned out great. So there's that balance. So we do talk about a balance. We talk about we've changed our language a little bit of child saved and link. We do say instead of Um keeping children safe as possible, we say as safe as necessary because we recognize, we have the conversation about Um, the need for children to learn and to grow and to Um get confidence and experience their surroundings. And so we do talk about not preventing all falls. Of course children need to fall. Falling is a normal part of life. So we definitely want children to fall and learn and grow, but we don't want them to fall down the stairs and fall off a big height, as I said. And so it's that conversation with parents. Um, sometimes they won't believe you and they think, well, my child is different, my child's smart, they're not going to get into that trouble. But all children want to explore. You want your child to explore, you want them to be curious, and so we really...

...talk about, you know, the risk versus hazard piece. Like there's some things that it doesn't matter how smart your child is. If you were in a car crash and they're not in a car seat, that's going to be if that's a significant problem. Um. So we do have lots of conversations around that. Well, thanks for joining me today. I think the parents who participated and those who are listening are you're going to learn quite a bit, and especially that balance, that and and maybe a bit of a permission to let their kids take some risks but not experience the hazards that will cause those serious injuries. And I think that you're your statement around being as safe as possible, not as safe as necessary, or as safe as necessary, not as safe as possible. We don't need to bubble wrap our kids, but but it's really important. You obviously want your kids to explore, but don't let them have access to poisons. That's very clear. Let them run around, but have a gate to prevent them from falling down the stairs. So those are sort of those, you know, obvious sort of things that people can do if they you know, if they think thought about it. Great. Well, thanks so much for joining me today. Thanks so much. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. Popping the bubble wrap is a podcast of parachute, Canada's National Injury Prevention charity, whose mission is for Canadians to live long lives to the fullest by preventing serious and fatal injuries. We release episodes every two weeks. Next episode I'll be talking about the worst advice your parents gave. You. Help US reach parents and caregivers by sharing this link with your friends and family and giving us a five star review wherever you listen to your podcasts. For more information, visit us at parachute dot C A. Have a question right to us at popping the bubble up at parachute dot C a. You can also leave a message at six, four seven, seven, seven, six, five one two three. That's six, four seven, seven, seven, six, five one two three. Popping the bubble wrap is produced for parachute by story studio network and eye contact productions. This is story studio network.

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